share your story of heartache with mary monaghan

Hi Mary

As promised I said I would email you when I had finished reading your book. As you have probably guessed I couldn’t put it down and read at every conceivable moment. What is it with the Irish? I could relate so much to your life’s story being married to a charming Irishman and knowing and having lived in all the places you mentioned.

Just to quickly mention that I was his 3rd wife (met him 6 months after his divorce to number 2) and he is now on his fourth marriage and living in Wynberg. I can understand your persistence in trying to find him and I did the same. Once I had received closure I was happy to let go.

It was easier for me as he appeared on a visitors list at Kelvin Grove and I was doing the registering with a friend. I told her I wouldn’t help her as I was really dead beat after the busy week. She said I think you would like to as your ex is on the list and there is only one ‘Barklie’ spelt the same as you in S.A. I hadn’t had contact with him for 10 years but at least I had been divorced from him.

Anyway enough of me and I am sure you get a lot of people trying to relate their own experiences to you. You have been through so much you deserve to be happy. You know that they never forget and I am sure John’s conscience pricks him every day of his life. They live in an existence of pretending they are happy but that is never the case.

I enjoyed reading your book and found it very inspiring. If anybody survived and did it with the utmost dignity – you have. Thank you for giving me a new lease to life and proving that there is hope and a life after John, in my case Adrian.

Best wishes and a pleasure meeting you.


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Marian M.

“What an amazing story – poignant and brave. A true story of survival against the odds – told with compassion and great intelligence. A very compelling read. My book of the year.”